Weekend Wishes

After a long week of both myself and Babou being sick with colds, I am more than ready for a little rest and relaxation. I am heading south, down to visit my love and enjoy the incredible weather. I am so excited just to be in a hotel and not have to worry about dishes or laundry or watering or weeding...just to be for a bit. I am especially excited about starting "On Mexican Time: A new life in San Miguel," by Tony Cohan, the Virtual Book Club's book for this month (check it out at http://the-virtual-bookclub.blogspot.com/).

Surviving this week has made me think there should be a book called "Mother Time." I am surprised there isn't one yet. I can't speak, of course, for all mothers, but my sense of time has changed drastically since the birth of my daughter. I like this way of time much better than the goal-oriented sense of time I had before, but it can be...errr...challenging. My sense of time is more cyclical now, more malleable, more flexible. Much more natural. Sometimes hard though; it is a balancing act trying to get stuff accomplished with a baby. Mostly I feel its a challenge that keeps me fluid and flexible. At least that's what I say to myself to keep myself going on days that are too much, but it is mostly how I truly feel.

But, back to the weekend, here is some inspiration. Listen to the words of this song or, better yet, play it if you have it, and imagine dancing barefoot with someone you love. On a summer evening. In that perfect moment between light and dark, when things are fuzzy, but just clear enough (just like the perfect amount of wine!). Feel the fragrant, still warm grass under your feet. Even if its snowing, it still can be summer in your mind!

"Into the Mystic"

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it
I dont have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home
And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it
I dont have to fear itI want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will float into the mystic
Come on girl...

-Van Morrison

Intending vs. Goals

Whatever you ca do or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

I have been thinking a lot this morning probably because I was up earlier than usual. My friend had invited me to share an early morning yoga class and, since my love is off today, I left Babou with him to sleep away.

Yoga class stretched me at many levels this morning and let me know just how much my body would enjoy this sort of activity on a regular basis. It also made me want to throw up a little! The instructor guided us through a short meditation and spoke briefly about setting your intention for the day and described how this is different from setting a goal. A goal, she explained, occurred in the future; while an intention guided you softly in the moment. I was quite struck by her words and immediately thought of how motherhood automatically creates the fertile ground for this way of living. I used to have amazingly long lists of things to do and rushed through them always trying to get to the end, to the future, not enjoying the process very much. Now that I have a child I feel like I am trying to run while underwater. EVERYTHING is in slow motion. I have found I just have to go with the moment and do the best I can while heading in a general direction.

Later, at coffee (thank GOD for coffee), my friend and I were discussing life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. We were talking in general about how we are both striving for certain things that seem elusive. I, myself, am trying to lose weight. It occurred to me in that moment that if I didn’t focus on having weight to lose but rather acted as though I had already lost it, that I might stop sabotaging my efforts. I think the reason we are often unsuccessful in our efforts is because we hold deep-seated unconscious beliefs about ourselves and our subconscious directs our actions to make that our reality. But if we changed our minds consciously, and practiced that change consciously, that it would sink into our subconscious minds and then it would act as our ally, not our enemy. Maybe the Goethe was right, maybe there is magic in intending and boldly beginning.

And then I thought, “maybe I think too much!”