Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Poetics of Privacy

Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change.
-Katherine Mansfield

So I have been trying to come up with some reflection on my past and how it has effected my present, inspired by the movie "Surfwise" and its resultant musings. And I did come up with something. A very long something that only begged to be longer. I started with a brief history, a foreword, so to speak, and planned on continuing it with more in depth still shots of various important parts in need of expansion.

The problem is that it is really a tale that is multigenerational. Growing up we lived in a present heavily perfumed by the past, ghosts seemed present in every exchange. My story is interwoven into the stories of my sisters and brothers, my mother and father, and of their families. I do not exist apart, no matter the framework you construct with which to view.

I am not a moderate person. I believe in the truth and in a sort of all out way of living life. Because of the way I am it is pretty much impossible for me to tell my story because if I did it would be too candid and, while a lot of my upbringing was positive, a lot of it was not and I cannot gloss over it. I can't out of respect for myself. I am going to try to find a way to write something honest and yet balanced.

I apologize for the Zen Koan nature of this entry but this is my legacy; I was born into a Koan of a family, my fetal body forming the shape of a question mark before my mind could form the question.


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