A Day to Remember

Believe me if all those

Endearing young charms

Which I gaze on so fondly today

Were to change by tomorrow

And fleet in my arms,

Like fairy gifts fading away

Though would'st still be adored

As this moment thou art

Let thy loveliness fade as it will

And around the dear ruin

Each wish of my heart

Would entwine itself

Verdantly still.

It is not while beauty

And youth are thine own

And thy cheeks

Unprofaned by a tear

That the ferver and faith

Of a soul can be known

To which time will but

Make thee more dear

No the heart that has truly loved

Never forgets

But as truly loves

On to the close

As the sunflower turns

On her god when he sets

The same look which

She'd turned when he rose.

-Thomas Moore

Two years ago this afternoon, ten years one month and one day after our first kiss, my husband and I drove silently up the California coast. Liquid gold late afternoon sun glinted through the window as we drove, suspended in the moment. We were on our way to get married; an impromptu, sunset ceremony.

We had planned on getting married and had our marriage license but had been unable to coordinate times for a courthouse ceremony. Synchronicity influenced events and Patrick unexpectedly got the weekend off, my friend Gabriella's step-mother - an non denominational minister - happened to be in town and free. One of my other friends happened to be in town from the Bay Area painting in a local Plein Air festival. And her sister happened to be a photographer and lent my friend her camera.

We stood on the beach, my mother, Babou, and Gabriella's father standing nearby.

Gabriella's step-mother drew a circle with sage, enclosing the three of us,

and the ceremony began. We pledged our vows, centered and unselfconscious,

with the sun setting behind us, waves lapping near our bare feet.

As we parted from our closing kiss, we were surprised by the sound of clapping.

So immersed we were in our circle and vows we had not noticed the other beach goers watching from a distance. The cheering continued, as well as much well wishing, and we happily, giddily walked to a little picnic table near the beach. There we had our quickly pulled together sunset picnic of baguettes, cheese, fruit, and champagne. Gabriella's father toasted us, and we watched the perfect evening turn to dusk.

Looking back on that day, I realize that although I had always thought I wanted more of a traditional wedding, that the wedding I had was actually the perfect wedding for me. We were so in the moment, so unselfconscious, so focused on our words and what they meant, so focused on each other. We were able to take our vows in a way that meant so much, in a way that really was a union, a blending of two. Our marriage, the blending of two very different people, has allowed us both to become more authentic and balanced versions of ourselves. We both felt the change, everything was the same and yet completely different. A golden evening that will last forever in my memory.

This is why...

This is love: To fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First, let go to live...in the end, to take a step without feet.
-Rumi

Late last night, as we were driving home from our weekend helping my Old Man's brother and his family move, the Elton John song, "Rocket Man," came on the radio. I turned it up, knowing both of us loved the song.

Old Man was holding my hand. Babou and the dog were sleeping peacefully to the hum of the car and the music. Old Man squeezed my hand as Elton John sang the lyrics about missing his wife.

I turned to smile at him and saw the tears rolling down his face. He looked at me, wiping them away and answered the concern in my eyes. He said, "it's just that this song always reminds me of you when I'm on a job, it makes me miss you so much."

He left for his job today, and will be gone for about a month, maybe two.

I think I am even more in love with him today as I was the eleven long years ago when we first fell in love. I am thankful every day that I have this kind of love, that I have this kind of man; my kind of man, my diver man.

The Kiss that told Forever

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
-Kahlil Gibran

It all started with a kiss. An amazing kiss. A kiss that lasted A Very Long Time. Close to an hour. Maybe more. Really. In the span of that kiss Mr. Jo and I shared our pasts, our present, and our future.

The kiss delineated our lives into "before" and "after." It created a third entity that would live to guide our lives together, holding us as one through good times and bad. Our love was so strong it created a spirit of its own, a guardian spirit, a silent witness and helpful hand.

You see, Mr. Jo and I went the through our 20's together, went through the growing pains of finding our individual paths, our path together, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle. Our relationship was not an easy one, although it is now. We had a lot of trouble along the way. But love was always there to bridge the gaps, to mend our hearts, helping us love freely again. Love was always there, a silent witness with plans of its own, a life of its own. It held us tight, always reminding us.

Over the years, Mr. Jo and my love has worn us smooth, softened our rough edges, melded our lives together. Mr. Jo has taught me to relax and enjoy life, to take things one day at a time, that a little finesse goes a long way, to trust life and, most of all, how to love.

Since I started my blog, have been trying to find the perfect name for my husband. I know he does not exactly appreciate being called "Mr. Jo," but I just haven't been able to find the right title, that perfect name that encapsulates who he is and what he means to me. But I knew it would come to me.

And it did. Mr. Jo's new name came to me in my middle of the night musings and is perfect, perfect, perfect. So, without further ado, I am very pleased to introduce you to My Old Man.

The creation of Malentine's Day

Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale.
-Elsa Schiaparelli, Italian Designer.

Thank God I started running because I have been eating like a QUEEN lately, the descent into hedonism began on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s day is a day I adore because it honors love and I am so unabashedly and proudly ROMANTICAL that I cannot help it if it doesn’t make me a little giddy. This Valentine’s Day, however, my lover was feeling particularly loving and gave me one of the best Valentine’s Days EVER.

I awoke on the day of the love-fest feeling particularly groovy and, having finished my blog AND morning stoutness exercises (Winne-the-Pooh anyone??? I still read and love Mr. Winnie Ther Pooh), I was about to go off to get some champagne and bon bons as an early gift for myself, only to be met at the door by my loving husband returning home with a box of See’s Candy and the most lovely 13 (he even made it a bakers dozen!) lavender roses. And, if you can believe, the day only got better!

Later in the afternoon, after I had eaten all the See’s candy, my love said he was planning our dinner and I was to be in no way, shape, or form part of its conception, labor, or birth. That said, he exiled me to the living room where I sat cozily couch-bound watching the food network to my heart’s content. I was glad because I felt rather ill from eating the entire box of Sees Candy and needed to recover! I could smell delicious things emanating from the kitchen and could hear my husband talking to himself as he always does when he is either thinking deeply about something really good or really bad. From what I could hear, things like: “now we’re talking!” and “look at this little gem, this little jewel is just about ready!” and so on, I thought that it must be quite good whatever was transpiring.

Moments later, he arrived at my couch-like throne carrying a beautiful plate and glass of sparkling wine, my first course, my amuse-bouche, so to speak (I have always loved this French term—a little mouth amusement before the main course, those French! Maybe all the formality and Cartesian order they adore merely creates the boundaries with which they cherishingly protect their overly sensuous natures)! The amuse-bouche was a plate filled with perfectly ripe, succulent mango slices, roses of proscuitto, and little sticks of pecorino romano cheese. It was just the most interesting and sublime combination of flavors! Luscious!

Needless to say, I ate all of this and by the time I was finished, was allowed into the kitchen to eat the next course and help with the salad dressing. My husband and I have very specific jobs in the kitchen: he usually fries, sautés and grills while I chop, make dressings, sauces and side dishes. We work very well together. Synergy is what I believe it is called. I happily munched on bacon wrapped shrimp dipped in his homemade bbq sauce and whipped together a balsamic vinaigrette for his spinach salad with bacon and red onion.

And then it was time to eat, REALLY eat! He whisked me out of the kitchen and brought me a glass of wine (Bogle’s Petite Syrah—one of my favorites). I was then presented with the most beautiful plate of the most scrumptious food…bacon-wrapped filet mignon topped with melted pecorino cheese, perfectly seared buttery scallops, and fresh green spinach salad studded with bits of bacon and thin rounds of purple-y onion. It was one of the most memorable and delicious meals I have ever been lucky enough to enjoy. The pecorino was amazing with the steak; it gave it this salty, sweet kick. The scallops were succulent and perfectly seared. And the freshness of the salad was a perfect counterpoint to the richness of the meal.

I have to say that I am blessed and very lucky to be so loved by my husband and to have one so thoughtful of my romanticism. I feel so lucky, in fact, that I have created a man’s Valentines Day, just for him. I am going to celebrate it exactly half a year from Valentines Day, on August 14, and it will be a day just for him, just as he had a day just for me, filled with all the things that he loves. I am naming it Malentine’s Day!

Love is a many splendor thing...

Where there is great love there are always miracles.
-Willa Cather

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy valentines day! I hope that you are all spoiled rotten…but if for some reason you are not, or if you don’t have a significant other, or significant other is OTHERwise inclined, or even if you do and are spoiled…remember to spoil YOURSELF! This is a woman’s holiday and you can celebrate love as much as you want, however you want, and it should start with you!

Celebrate love in its fullness! There are so many different kinds of love and they are all kaleidoscope-y and beautiful! There is lover love, friendship love, family love, pet love, all kinds of love! I could go on and on! Celebrate it all and start with yourself!

Anyways, go get some bon bons and champagne and your favorite flowers and enjoy the day! You’ll be in good company as I am about to do just that!

Ciao!