The Mary Alice interview

Mary Alice recently got interviewed on her post and offered to extend the invitation to any willing readers. Mary Alice always asks good questions so of course I was game...and just like that I got some fun questions in my email..let me know if any of you would like to be interviewed...here is mine:

1.You are a wonderful and inspired cook.  When did you realize how much you enjoy it?  What event solidified your passion?


I think I realized how much I enjoyed it when I started planning dinners for friends and family--shortly after I moved out and into my own place (with roommates). I think the thing I love best about cooking is creating an ambiance, creating a vibe with food, flowers, music, candles, and guests. I love that. It doesn't have to be fancy to be wonderful.

No real event solidified my passion, but working in good restaurants through college definitely instilled an appreciation of food and wine. I loved the ritual and care of good food and the whole dining experience. To this day, serving has been one of my funnest jobs (if that's a word).

When I first moved to Santa Barbara to go to school, I ended up moving in with the sous chef at the restaurant where I worked. He lived with another sous chef from a different restaurant in area. I learned a lot about food from him (the one from my retaurant, Eric) and I also learned a lot about both food and wine from the chef of the restaurant. They were both very generous to offer me little tips and it was always fun cooking with Eric at home. Or just eating his food!
 
2. In your perfect world, how would your garden be any bigger than what you have now? If so, what would you grow that you don’t currently?

Oh man that is a loaded question! I would have such a bigger garden in my perfect world. I imagine fields of lavender, herb gardens, much more fruit than I have currently--trees, berries, and melons. I would really love to get more into herbs and have a garden devoted to their cultivation. I am fascinated by their lore, their signatures, the energy and essences they impart. They are truly magical beings that I would like to get to know better.

I would also have vineyards and make my own wine! Ooooh yeah!
 
 
3. What is a lesson you hope to impart to your daughter, that our mother imparted to us?


That having less is a less a burden and more a chance to be creative. She taught me to really create things, make things, do the best with what I've got. As our Brother Shoe says "Live below your means." Most importantly and in the same vein, she taught me that class has to do with education and being a cultured person. That is a huge lesson I want to impart in Babou.
 
4. You have done a lot of traveling. What country did you feel most at home in?

Greece, for sure. Everyone is so friendly and open, they even wave goodbye backwards, summoning your return as they say farewell! The water is clear and refreshing; not so suffocating as it is in more tropical places where it offers little relief. The food is amazing, every ingredient is the best it can be, all the food seems to be showing off how good it is...simply, naturally, phenomenally delicious! I have never seen tomatoes so pleased to be tomatoes--it's like they are screaming "look at me, I am a TOMATO! Woohoo!" Seriously.
 
5. What is something that you are going to eliminate from your life in the next year?

Worrying. I think it is the biggest waste of time there could possibly be...ever. Looking back on my life I realize how little worry ever did for me. Life works out. You've just got to point yourself in the right direction, work hard at what you love, and life will work out for you. No worry required.
 
So...if you would like to be interviewed, here is what we do as per Mary Alice:
 
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

A Catalyst for Change

We are the ones we have been waiting for.
-Hopi Prayer.

Mary Alice, again, has roused me to reply to her blog with a blog myself. I have also used the quote that she used on her blog because this perfectly, I feel, pertains to the issue. This is, obviously, a topic close to my heart.

Yes, identity is difficult as you change through life. One’s roles are always in flux and those Saturn returns (which also happen every seven years or so) are very difficult to go through no matter how diligently we have given ourselves what we needed to grow and stay connected. Change is no respecter of self-awareness; it throws it out the window to start fresh, to change. With motherhood this change is dramatic. The center of the universe shifts from ourselves to our children and it’s difficult to maintain a strong center during this shift and not lose yourself completely. The rhythms that make up a mother’s day can feel like imploding, it is such a closed and constant and personal rhythm.

That is why I started blogging, so that I could connect with others, not just my friends and family, to make friends with a larger world to keep mine open and me open in the only way I knew how within the constraints of being a stay-at-home mom. I think that this is one of the main keys to maintaining equilibrium through the changes of motherhood: doing what you need to do to maintain YOU. And that is the tricky part, making sure that you honor and respect your needs and give yourself what you need to make it through the changes intact.

Your identity will change; you are changed. I think that this is what is particularly brilliant about life: growing. Everything on earth grows and changes and so do we—we are continually called upon to grow as we define ourselves against an ever-changing backdrop that is our life--identity changes because we juxtapose our identity with life, and life is always changing.

You have to know yourself to make it through these changes. Our landscape changes and we are called to ask, what does this new backdrop accentuate in me? How does this change the way I think, feel, and act? How does this new circumstance define me? If you don’t know yourself, you will, you will have to; life necessitates it. Those shifting times when I feel like I am driving in neutral are necessary and uncomfortable. Someone once said that you have to lose yourself to find yourself and it is so true.

These defining identity issues are not unique to parenthood. Becoming a mother is just one set of circumstances that allow you to evolve and change. Evolution of self is not unique to motherhood; identity is unique to selfhood. Motherhood is just one way, one set of circumstances, in which it occurs.

My final thought on the topic is that it is much easier (I find) to get through change if you don’t take it all too seriously--least of all yourself. If life up to this point has taught me anything, it is to not take myself so seriously; to laugh at life and myself and try to go with it as much as possible and enjoy it as much as possible. I try to do this every day as much as I can. Sometimes I fail miserably, and sometimes I am wildly successful, but through it all I am myself and the more I honor that, the easier it gets. I think that there is an inner knowing, a voice inside you that helps—especially when you honor it. And I think that if we listened to it and acted on its wisdom that we would realize that we are, indeed, the one we have been waiting for…that we have been all along. That life has been slowly washing away excess ego to allow our real self to shine through and inspire others to be themselves, too. That it is not only okay, but meant to be.

Selah.