Stopped in my Tracks

Become willing to see the hand of God and accept it as a friend''s offer to help you with what you are doing.
-Julia Cameron

I had no idea how seriously I was destined to taking a break from my daily life. I had arrived in southern California and had been thoroughly enjoying the freedom from the home schedule, the edited housework and cooking, the introduction of long hours to do with what I wanted. To dream, to plan, to explore. To have time to myself.

Last week, however, I was stopped in my tracks by a terrible cold, and an infection in my hurt toe (the toenail I lost last year had never fully grown back correctly) that was being exacerbated by running. I had to go to the doctor and ended up having minor surgery which resulted in me having to take this week off of my feet, let alone running. Through all of this, I missed the deadline for registering for the Dipsea Race.

This has not been my week.

And yet, in a way, it has been my week. I realize that I have not had a chance to really sit still and take stock of my life in a long time. I consume my time with busy-ness and don't often take the time to come up for air and see what is working and what is not. So I have been taking this time to take stock, to think about the rythmn of my days, to make sure I am using my time wisely. Am I moving forward or am I wasting time? What do I want to incorporate into my days and what can be deleted? I am editing, simplifying, and clarifying. I want to live a simpler, more elegant version of my life in which I do less while accomplishing more.

I am returning home next week and am so excited to see my garden, to see what is blooming, to reintroduce myself to my home and my life in the Bay area. I feel renewed. I feel like I have had the time away that I needed to look at things with new eyes and from a fresh perspective. My faith in life has been renewed and I realize again that sometimes misfortunes can really be opportunities, that holding onto your goals too tightly will suffocate them and you, and that by letting go you can get ahead.

Se-lah.